I was an hour into a train journey with an hour and a half to go and I was bored, VERY bored. I wondered if I could find 100 things to do before the journey ended...
1. Sat down
2. Looked at the scenery (countryside, stations, industrial, graffiti)
3. Put bag on floor
4. Put bag on empty seat next to me
5. Put bag on floor again
6. Moved bag back on to seat next to me
7. Bought a cup of tea and a bag of crisps
8. Exchanged polite banter with the tea-trolley man
9. Ate crisps
10. Brewed cup of tea
11. Drank tea
12. Listened to other people’s conversations, slurping, and bleeping phone-games
13. Got ipod out of bag
14. Emptied bag to find earphones
15. Spent 5 minutes untangling earphones
16. Put earphones in to dull the sound of other people’s conversations, slurping...
17. Looked for ticket with mild anxiety when I couldn’t find it
18. Found ticket
19. Showed ticket to guard
20. Put teabag, stirrer and milk-cartons in empty crisp bag
21. Briefly played game on phone
22. Dozed
23. Released dreadlocks
24. Took jacket off
25. Exchanged texts with my lover
26. Sent an email to work
27. Applied lipsalve
28. Read
29. Stared at the woman sat diametrically opposite me
30. Blew nose
31. Fiddled with contents of bag
32. Turned on work laptop and realised games have been wiped (miserable b’stards – not even solitaire on there)
33. Turned work laptop off (ha!)
34. Put sunglasses on
35. Couldn’t see through sunglasses
36. Took sunglasses off
37. Cleaned sunglasses
38. Put sunglasses back on again B-)
39. Had thoughts... lots of thoughts
40. Looked at what people around me were reading
41. Listened to ipod
42. Went to loo
43. Aided recycling
44. Put rubbish in a bin bag
45. Had polite but minimal exchange with man carrying bin bag
46. Chewed gum
47. Took some photos
48. Listened to a man on his mobile: “I had a 10 year old square up to me whilst reading a poem”
49. Stared at the sun
50. Wiggled around and fidgeted in seat
51. Copied sudoku puzzle from book of the woman in front of me
52. Did Sudoku puzzle
53. Watched woman sat diametrically opposite me read “Burley Cross Postbox Theft” by Nicola Barker
54. Took an iron tablet
55. Felt a bit sick
56. Sneezed
57. Farted
58. Sent an email
59. Scratched. And itched. (in that order)
60. Picked at and brushed bits of dust off clothes
61. Applied handcream
62. Coughed
63. Put arm rest down
64. Closed eyes, tapped toes together 6 times and whispered “there’s no place like home, there’s no place like home”
65. Burped
66. Wrote in diary, crossed some stuff out
67. Started planning annual leave (didn’t get far)
68. Committed a crime (unauthorised occupation of seat – I had E54 reserved, but I sat in E53 for 10 seconds)
69. Bit nail
70. Unsuccessfully tried to self-inflict a papercut (surprisingly difficult to do deliberately)
71. Held breath for 32 seconds
72. Stayed alive through the wonders of a beating heart and an autonomic nervous system
73. Wrote this list
74. Took pen lid on and off several times
75. Used my propelling pencil
76. Adjusted my underwear
77. Rested my head in my hand
78. Yawned
79. Stretched my arms above my head to see if I could touch the overhead shelf
80. Touched overhead shelf
81. Got bumped into by people walking past
82. Glared at people walking past
83. Listened to 2 teenage boys having an extensive discussion about fantasy football manager – one was the manager of Portsmouth and things weren’t going so good. He'd applied for jobs in France, Spain and Portugal but didn't get them. His club asked him to apologise, or resign and save face. He apologised; and then they fired him. It’s tough to learn these lessons so young...
84. Listened to the guard announcing where the train was going and when it would get there
85. Listened to the onboard catering manager extolling the delights of his alcoholic and non-alcoholic beverages and selection of light snacks
86. Went through a number of stations; stopped at some, whizzed through others
87. Looked at reflection in window
88. Raised eyebrows
89. Felt snoozy
90. Put arm rest up
91. Pulled price tag off small present for lover
92. Put jacket on
93. Sniffed
94. Probably grunted from time to time
95. Repacked my bag but couldn’t get everything back in it
96. Sighed
97. Looked for ticket with mild anxiety when I couldn’t find it (again)
98. Found ticket (déjà vu)
99. Walked along the carriage...
100. ...and got off the train :)
1. Sat down
2. Looked at the scenery (countryside, stations, industrial, graffiti)
3. Put bag on floor
4. Put bag on empty seat next to me
5. Put bag on floor again
6. Moved bag back on to seat next to me
7. Bought a cup of tea and a bag of crisps
8. Exchanged polite banter with the tea-trolley man
9. Ate crisps
10. Brewed cup of tea
11. Drank tea
12. Listened to other people’s conversations, slurping, and bleeping phone-games
13. Got ipod out of bag
14. Emptied bag to find earphones
15. Spent 5 minutes untangling earphones
16. Put earphones in to dull the sound of other people’s conversations, slurping...
17. Looked for ticket with mild anxiety when I couldn’t find it
18. Found ticket
19. Showed ticket to guard
20. Put teabag, stirrer and milk-cartons in empty crisp bag
21. Briefly played game on phone
22. Dozed
23. Released dreadlocks
24. Took jacket off
25. Exchanged texts with my lover
26. Sent an email to work
27. Applied lipsalve
28. Read
29. Stared at the woman sat diametrically opposite me
30. Blew nose
31. Fiddled with contents of bag
32. Turned on work laptop and realised games have been wiped (miserable b’stards – not even solitaire on there)
33. Turned work laptop off (ha!)
34. Put sunglasses on
35. Couldn’t see through sunglasses
36. Took sunglasses off
37. Cleaned sunglasses
38. Put sunglasses back on again B-)
39. Had thoughts... lots of thoughts
40. Looked at what people around me were reading
41. Listened to ipod
42. Went to loo
43. Aided recycling
44. Put rubbish in a bin bag
45. Had polite but minimal exchange with man carrying bin bag
46. Chewed gum
47. Took some photos
48. Listened to a man on his mobile: “I had a 10 year old square up to me whilst reading a poem”
49. Stared at the sun
50. Wiggled around and fidgeted in seat
51. Copied sudoku puzzle from book of the woman in front of me
52. Did Sudoku puzzle
53. Watched woman sat diametrically opposite me read “Burley Cross Postbox Theft” by Nicola Barker
54. Took an iron tablet
55. Felt a bit sick
56. Sneezed
57. Farted
58. Sent an email
59. Scratched. And itched. (in that order)
60. Picked at and brushed bits of dust off clothes
61. Applied handcream
62. Coughed
63. Put arm rest down
64. Closed eyes, tapped toes together 6 times and whispered “there’s no place like home, there’s no place like home”
65. Burped
66. Wrote in diary, crossed some stuff out
67. Started planning annual leave (didn’t get far)
68. Committed a crime (unauthorised occupation of seat – I had E54 reserved, but I sat in E53 for 10 seconds)
69. Bit nail
70. Unsuccessfully tried to self-inflict a papercut (surprisingly difficult to do deliberately)
71. Held breath for 32 seconds
72. Stayed alive through the wonders of a beating heart and an autonomic nervous system
73. Wrote this list
74. Took pen lid on and off several times
75. Used my propelling pencil
76. Adjusted my underwear
77. Rested my head in my hand
78. Yawned
79. Stretched my arms above my head to see if I could touch the overhead shelf
80. Touched overhead shelf
81. Got bumped into by people walking past
82. Glared at people walking past
83. Listened to 2 teenage boys having an extensive discussion about fantasy football manager – one was the manager of Portsmouth and things weren’t going so good. He'd applied for jobs in France, Spain and Portugal but didn't get them. His club asked him to apologise, or resign and save face. He apologised; and then they fired him. It’s tough to learn these lessons so young...
84. Listened to the guard announcing where the train was going and when it would get there
85. Listened to the onboard catering manager extolling the delights of his alcoholic and non-alcoholic beverages and selection of light snacks
86. Went through a number of stations; stopped at some, whizzed through others
87. Looked at reflection in window
88. Raised eyebrows
89. Felt snoozy
90. Put arm rest up
91. Pulled price tag off small present for lover
92. Put jacket on
93. Sniffed
94. Probably grunted from time to time
95. Repacked my bag but couldn’t get everything back in it
96. Sighed
97. Looked for ticket with mild anxiety when I couldn’t find it (again)
98. Found ticket (déjà vu)
99. Walked along the carriage...
100. ...and got off the train :)